I think all women, to different extents, feel that if they love a little more, try a little more, understand more, show more patience or try to keep working on themself, that eventually he will notice this, or appreciate this, or that he will be motivated to do the same, because he loves you. But the hard truth is that YOU can not change HIM. Please do not let people convince you of this, especially when you have been trying for so long. The desire from change has to come from a realization from within him, emerging from his own self reflection and understanding of his part in the situation. Maybe, like me, you spend every day of this dark situation pondering, what if? what if I tried more of this, or did less of that, or had paid more attention that time, on and on... you wonder if you were wrong to finally walk away because you didnt see him changing at all... well, dont don't let him or anyone else make you doubt that you have tried as much as you can and despite your imperfections you have done the right things...and if he truly loves you, he would want to make the changes for himself...